The only positive thing in my life lately is that I am now a
proud co-owner of the Maschine.
Other than that, the prominent pillars of life are complete rubbish for me: work, money, friends, men, health.
I was asked today when I am happiest. Naturally, my first inclination was towards music, whether it be live shows, new artists or simply my ipod.
Is it sad that the next thing that came to mind was my first sip of morning coffee? Of course there are plenty of things that make me happy (travel, summer, riding my bike in the city), however many of these things lack the immediacy or controllability to implement them into my daily life right now.
Overall, several things recently have made me come to terms with the fact that I must re-evaluate the amount of emphasis I place on external forces in my life. I have to start to take ownership of the idea that the changes I want in my life can really only be achieved if I make the changes in myself. The most difficult part of this entire realization is that I was completely void of any knowledge of my own lack of self-awareness. There's a long road ahead.