Monday, April 28, 2008

Time as a Liquid

I wish I could bottle up time, cap it tightly, and save it for another day. Those flashbulb moments of joy, sadness, love, shame, pride, passion, optimism, fear. When they happen, regardless of how fleetingly, we rarely savour the emotion. We assume we will maintain the ability to recapture the feeling again without struggle, and with substance. But what if we can’t?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

It's Evolution, Baby

Sorry folks, time to give up the fantasy. It is ironic, however, that even after all these years the evolutionary research leaders Peter and Rosemary Grant seemed as happy and monogomous as Diplozoon paradoxum when I saw their public lecture on Darwin's finches. Click here for New York Times article on Faithfulness as a Fantasy.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Now on View @ The MoMA

One of the current MoMA exhibits, "Design and The Elastic Mind". Some pretty interesting stuff. I particularly enjoy the "Afterlife" project (1:17), as well as the origami compositions and their relation to the telescope lens (3:00). Just goes to show that science and art are not as disassociated as most of us think.

Monday, April 21, 2008

When [blank], Then [blank].

Lately (perhaps my whole life, or at least as long as I can remember), I have had a strong tendency to catapult the absences in my life as excuses to why life may not supply me with the idealized gratification that I have come to expect. In some cases, this When/Then thinking, as I like to call it, would be acceptable, particularly in the example, “When [I have saved x dollars], Then [I can buy that car]”. For material things this mentality is practical, but in terms of life milestones and happiness, When/Then thinking turns me into a dog chasing its tail endlessly in circles. I have been abusing this mentality and have extrapolated its use to non-applicable circumstances in life, only to be left with poignant disappointment.

It started with, “When [I finish high school], Then [I will have the ability to be mobile from this banal, cultureless city of London]”. Living and experiencing what is arguably the best city in Canada for the last 4 ½ years was grand, but after first year, I met Mr. A. Pook, which caused When/Then fever to infectiously return.

My thinking then became, “When [I complete university], Then [I will be able to enjoy my boyfriend’s company in its entirety without being at a 4500 km distance away]”. Now that I am back from out West, it is “When [I have a real job making decent money], Then [I will be able to have a productive life and pay back my educational expenses]”. Will it ever end? I could even predict my future When/Thens without even coming close to those life accomplishments yet.

You would think by now, as someone who considers herself a semi-intelligent young woman, I would have determined this trend long ago and tried to break my faulty When/Then cognitions. Apparently this has been unsuccessful. I am certain most of us go through life with constant When/Thens but never even suspect that there is something inherently wrong with this form of thinking. I believe there most definitely is. Nothing in life will ever be perfect. We need to enjoy each life stage as it happens, and quit making excuses for our less than complete present lives. When we are 70, are we really going to be kicking ourselves in the ass for not working more? Will we be upset that we were able to have some of the best times of our lives because work did not consume our integral being from the moment we graduated? NO.
The future is no place to place your better days.

Ways that I suspect "When[blank], Then[blank]" is creeping up on YOU

a. When [I lose x amount of weight], Then [I will be satisfied and happy].
b. When [I get married], Then [I will know he truly loves me].
c. When [I have a child], Then [I will feel fully complete].

Friday, April 18, 2008

TBK on Letterman- 04/17/08

Now this is music. I quite enjoy Dan's guitar solo at around 2:02. Devour it!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

"He's a solid young man,"

No. He's not. He's a fatass. Sorry mothers of these children or grandmothers of these 'tweens, your son/grandson/daughter/granddaughter is not bigboned or muscular (last time I checked, merely pressing the keys on the x-box controller, or typing "LOL", "WTF", "BRB", "OMG" or "GTG" on messenger didn't qualify as muscle building activities). Your kids don't need more pizza pockets and muffins (they're fucking cupcakes, alright!?) because they are "solid", they need someone to tell them the truth. They're lazy, unmotivated, unhealthy and overweight.

Wake. Up.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Delightful People

I was thinking today (gasp!), and there are some (few) people who are truly delightful. What makes these people so distinct from the vast number of mundane individuals we must encounter on a regular basis? FUN is a compulsory accident when you are with them. Time literally seems to speed up and before you know it, hours, days, nights, have disappeared and you wonder how the fast forward button got pressed without your authority. I miss these delightful people, and why can't there be more of them? Maybe that they are such rarities is what makes them so delightful in the first place.

Sunday, April 6, 2008


1. I am often preoccupied with fearful thoughts on aging.
2. I hate my smile.
3. I frequent Talize at least twice a week.
4. I envy men.
5. I sit in Chapters and read magazines and books for hours on end without buying a single thing.
6. Many of the books on my book shelf I stopped reading half way through.
7. I have been known to clip coupons.
8. I once slept with someone to spite someone else.
9. I worry that I will die before I am 40.
10. I judge you.
11. I eat at least 2 tablespoons of peanut butter a day, straight from the jar.
12. If I pass by you and you assume I probably just didn't see you, I probably did.
13. I sometimes go days without seeing or talking to anyone other than my family.
14. I still follow the guidelines for "wish chips", and I am finding it difficult to chew a single chip 22 times these days (it was a lot easier back when I was 10).
15. Haute couture runway shows have brought tears to my eyes.
16. Against all things "green", I indulge in long hot showers just because I want to.

...that's all for now.