Monday, March 29, 2010

On Dropping

I keep every flavour on hand at all times depending on which path I want to follow.

Arctics (Silvers) will absolutely drop you on your ass...but you'll enjoy it (highly recommended).
Ice (Blues) are still intense, but the trip is over a little sooner.
Cool (Greens) are fairly tame and give a pleasant ride down Rohto lane.

Drop these in your eye, make sure you get the second eye right away or else you'll have some problems. You may want to sit down while dropping.

The experience occurs in the following three stages:
1. Here comes Yeti to jab you in the eye with icicles. Go ahead and scream in agony because he's heard it all before. In less than a minute the pain will subside.
2. Now comes the roaring glacier melting out of your eyes. You will cry as if you just watched Mufasa get trampled by the stampede. Let it run its course for about a minute, then its okay to wipe off those soaking cheeks.
3. Your vision begins to clear. You feel like Helen Keller would have if she had suddenly gained her vision; entering a new dimension of visual clarity. Welcome.

Thank you K. Wulfekuhler.

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