Items That Need to Stop...

1) Guys wearing messenger bags. ENOUGH. Unless you're gay, use your pockets. STOP.

2) Girls wearing tights under shorts. If it's cold enough to wear tights, it's too cold for shorts. This combo looks good on NO ONE. I rocked it once but it was for a Halloween costume. STOP.

Merci.
ROTO

Rouge

I want to eat with my hands, and be nude, and stand still while the rest of the world spins and spins around me. I want to feel the earth, every corner of it. I want to see the way that leaf falls, or that boundary changes, or how the pattern that water makes is one of the most beautiful chaotic messes ever created. I want to enjoy, and appreciate the movements of bodies, my own and those of others. I want to lay under the sun, or rain, or clouds- and soak in all the things that people can't enjoy because they're too busy earning a living to pay for mounds of unnecessary garbage and a week of false solitude and relaxation. I want to feel intrigued forever.

I hate babies

...and picketing utopian CUPE employees!

That being said, I still enjoy these fantastical photographs by Julie Blackmon.

LOST!

What: Ambition.
When: Somewhere between the ages of 10 and 17.
Reward: Fulfillment of moral agency.

If found, please return to Miss Laura J. McLeod.

If I see a Human...

...wearing THESE, I just don't know what I will do. Probably have some kind of mild cardiac arrest due to shock and dismay. SERIOUSLY people. The original style "crocs" were bad enough, and quite frankly I would just as well wear flip flops in terms of fulfilling the (very) casual comfort factor. This newest croc design MUST be some kind of joke. Fingers crossed.

Polysaccharides

[Pre-Script: Going to try to post my outfits daily from now on]

Have you read your peanut butter label recently? Normally I only eat the natural PB; the last time I ate the regular stuff was while in Honduras (hey, when you're on a Central American island and living off soda crackers for a month, anything tastes pretty respectable). Anyways, I used my dad's regular PB by accident today and I must admit the first words that came to mind were "check the expiry date". Mar 2009. Christ, that shit is really just that awful! Upon further inspection, I am pretty sure the ingredient Maltodextrin may have something to do with the vile taste left in my mouth.

Give me some peanuts and a blender.

blood vessels are eating my corneas

I have discovered I have corneal neovascularization (Pannus), basically growth of new blood vessels into the cornea, that can result in serious vision problems if left in later stages. Due to my irresponsible wear/use of contact lenses when I was younger and maybe perhaps even still, this condition could have reached significant negative levels if I hadn't been informed of it while at my first day of work at a laser eye clinic recently. I am utterly shocked that my optometrist never explained how fucked up my eyes were and made me change the type of contacts I was wearing or explained to me the dangers of wearing the lenses for extended periods of time. No more contacts unless they are completely necessary in certain contexts (such as work). Now, through my own research I have discovered Pannus can cause increased bleeding during eye surgery and longer healing time as well as inflammation. I am scared! I just wish I didn't have to wait 3 more months to get corrective surgery, as this would solve my contact lense abuse issue and at least let my eyes have some O2. I am sorry eyeballs; I love you.

"He's a solid young man,"

No. He's not. He's a fatass. Sorry mothers of these children or grandmothers of these 'tweens, your son/grandson/daughter/granddaughter is not bigboned or muscular (last time I checked, merely pressing the keys on the x-box controller, or typing "LOL", "WTF", "BRB", "OMG" or "GTG" on messenger didn't qualify as muscle building activities). Your kids don't need more pizza pockets and muffins (they're fucking cupcakes, alright!?) because they are "solid", they need someone to tell them the truth. They're lazy, unmotivated, unhealthy and overweight.



Wake. Up.